Youth In Bloom
by carcinophobicgeneticist
Summary: Saiyuki Gaiden crack. Kenren and Tenpou talk to a tree, pretending it is their daughter. Inspired by an RP-ikkou roleplay. Shonen-ai/seinen-ai implied.


What a day. What a tree. What a sake. It was goooooood times for General Kenren.

"So, who is this sap, anyway?" he asked, swinging one leg off of the tree branch impatiently. "Don't get me wrong, I'm sure the guy's a total peach, but I need to see him for myself."

The April breeze shushed around him, sending the pink blossoms bobbing up and down.

"Over at the dining hall? The one with the tiger fountain? Sounds like a real big shot."

Tenpou chose that moment to kind of materialize out of nowhere at the base of the tree. "Hmm, Kenren, what are you doing?"

The general, taken completely by surprise, spit out a whole bunch of sake, a little rainbow forming in the air as he did. "Tenpou, don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Ohhhh, dear me..." Tenpou wiped a bit of the spit-up sake from his face, looking rather put-out. "Now I'm all wet and sticky, and I just got out of the bath too. I hope you intend to make this up to me."

"Don't worry, I'll more than make it up to you." A few definitely NC-17 thoughts passed through Kenren's head at this.

"In the usual manner, I'm sure." Tenpou leaned against the tree trunk, gazing up at Kenren with a seeming wistfulness. "Allow me to repeat myself: what _are_ you doing?"

Kenren swirled the bit of sake in his cup around. "Oh, you know, the same thing I always do. Sitting in a tree. Havin' a drink. Daydreaming about your eyes."

Tenpou blinked in surprise at the latter, wondering if Kenren really had been thinking of him. "I knew that." He adjusted his glasses. "But why do you talk to the tree, Kenren?"

Tossing back the last bit of his wine, Kenren sat up and threw his dangling leg back over the branch so that he was sitting sideways, one arm around the trunk. "No kidding, Tenpou. Don't tell me you've forgotten about her."

The field marshall appeared a touch flustered. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Our beautiful baby." Kenren ran the fingers of his right hand down the elegantly twisted bark of the cherry. "I've been checking up on the miraculous life that our love created!"

The mouth of Tenpou fell open a little. He was sweating. "You mean...this tree."

Kenren barked out a laugh. "Damn, Tenpou...you're a space case sometimes, sure, but you'd go so far as to forget your own daughter? After all those hours you spent in labor?! I'm disappointed in you, man."

Total blank. Tenpou had...no idea what was going on. There was an awkward silence. Then...

"Don't be silly, Kenren. I could never forget you, dear Sakura-chan!" Tenpou beamed, catching the tree in a one-armed hug.

_Oooookay, I guess he's playing along._ Kenren mused to himself.

"Mmmm, Sakura, Tenpo-to-chan has been so busy as of late! The lower world became subject to a gigantic evil fungus of sorts this week, so your daddies have had their hands tied. Goku-kun's accident-prone ways haven't helped us much either. I thought of you always, though."

"Sakura was just telling me about a special boy tree." Kenren winked. "He's one of the peaches out by the great dining hall."

Tenpou scratched his head bashfully. "Is that so? Dear me, Sakura-chan, you are growing up so fast. It seems just last week in my mind that you were a little sprout, and now you're big and strong enough to hold up Ken-oto-chan!"

"'s true. You've blossomed, Sakura." Kenren punned, pouring himself some more sake "It's hard to believe you're the same poor sapling who suffered from caterpillars a few years back. That's all over now. You've done your dads proud." He raised the cup in a toast.

"I was so worried for you when you had the caterpillars," Tenpou recalled sadly. "Ken-oto and I couldn't even sleep, we worried about you so much. These days, you worry so much that your boughs are too thin. When will you realize? You're beautiful just the way you are."

"Time flies, doesn't it? I feel like if I just close my eyes, the next I look I'll have grandcherries of my own. Makes me feel like an old geezer," Kenren snickered.

"Dear me; grandchildren?" Tenpou wondered, gazing seriously up at the pink blooms. "I'd have to try and take time off just so I could spoil them. You know I'd do it, too."

After a pause, the two both burst out laughing.

"All this time, Tenpou..." Kenren slid the once more empty sake cup into his pocket and swung himself down from the branch, hanging for a moment, then falling to his feet before Tenpou, who was still chuckling a bit. "After all this, the trees are the only things that change around here."

"Little does change, it's true. You certainly haven't." Without warning, Tenpou bent down, threw his arms around the general's middle, and hoisted him onto his shoulder, eliciting a grunt of surprise. "Let's make Sakura-chan a little brother or sister!"

"Wait, we can actually do that?" Kenren gasped in Tenpou's grip, attempting to adjust himself so he could breathe. "See ya, Sakura. Daddy and Mommy have places to go." He waved back at the cherry tree as Tenpou carried him off.

The two were headed down the hallways to Tenpou's office. Passing officers couldn't help but stare at Kenren's predicament, having been flung over his superior's shoulder like a large satchel. "Really now, the idea of two men having a cherry tree for an illegitimate child. Where do you come up with these things?" Tenpou wondered aloud, as if there were nothing unusual about carrying him that way. "Why don't I go show you which daddy is _really_ the daddy?"

"You don't change much either, Tenpou," Kenren replied, smirking, already resigned to his position. "You don't give a damn _what_ the world thinks of you."

"Please be quiet." The field marshall laid a swift, firm smack across the general's backside. Kenren grinned, face frozen, at the punishment he'd just received.

Two random filler soldiers watched Tenpou lug Kenren into his office and lock the door.

"I take it back. Those two _are_ gay."

"Yep."

"Shouldn't somebody...say something?"

"You kidding? Just 'cause they're queers doesn't mean they can't or won't kick our asses."

"Got it."

Outside, Sakura's branches bobbed up and down a little in the perfumed air of the celestial spring. She was very happy to see her "daddies" again, even though they did tend to let their imaginations run away with them too often. She was only a tree, after all, a cherry tree growing in Heaven, but she loved the company.


End file.
